Trailer for the New Season of 24
I'm so excited. 2010 is gonna be a good year for TV. Final season of Lost and a new season of 24. I think I may actually be giddy.
Now lets see what we have in this trailer:
- Explosions and cars flipping over? Check
- Jack Bauer retired (Grandpa!) but forced back into the world saving business? Check
- President/Political leader in jeopardy? Check
- Chloe? Check
- Bluetooth Headsets? Check
- David Aceveda? Check
What else can we expect:
- Kim Bauer getting kidnapped or held hostage? Of course (although maybe they'll switch it up this season and have her daughter in peril?)
- Jack Bauer complaining about he's "Getting too old for this shit" ? No doubt about it
- Tony Almeda coming back to be good/bad/good again/actually bad this whole time? God I hope not
This beer is far too cold
So I've already done a post on Bud Light and I know you have all been eagerly anticipating hearing my thoughts on other beverages. Thank you for your kind letters.
Well, Wait no longer!!
What's the deal with Coors light??
We get it. Your beer is cold. Is this your main selling point? "The Coldest Tasting Beer" "Brewed Cold"
Uhh, OK. Sounds good, let me have a sip. AH! Way too cold!! My front teeth hurt!
I Love Coors Light!!!
And the Cold activated can? Kinda neat I'll admit, but totally unnecessary. You know how I can tell if my beer is cold? I touch it. I touch the can. It's that simple.
Now I can hear some of you having objections already. "Well sometimes the can is cold but inside the liquid isn't as cold as I like" Deal with it and make better decisions in the future.
Also, Wide mouth can? Do we really need easier access to beer. Was the regular sized spout not getting the alcohol into our greedy gullets fast enough?
Budweiser may be the King of Beers but Coors is definitely the King of Gimmicks. I can't wait until they come out with cans with a little spout on the bottom for shotgunning.
Fuck You Axe
What happened Axe? Your commercials used to be fun. Complete bullshit and ridiculous, but fun nonetheless.
The basic message was: Spray on some Axe and roving packs of hot chicks will run after you and rape the shit out of you. Now there is a product I can get behind (Pun intended).
But now? Their message seems to be, you better use Axe if you ever want to have any chance of getting laid ever ever ever. In one commercial they give some male models silly hair styles and show them getting rejected by the ladies. Translation: if these stud muffins can't get to the ladyparts without Axe what chance do you have, you disgusting slob of a man?
Their slogan is "Get Girl Approved Hair" Fuck. You. How much of a pussy are you? Why not make sure everything you wear is girl approved? You can keep your balls in a girl approved wooden box (made exclusively by Axe).
See this guy above me? Yeah him. He has girl approved hair. And you know what else he has? A boyfriend.
I mean, I'm pretty sure that the main consumers of Axe are pimply virgin kids in high school* so come on Axe. Your consumers are self conscious as it is so throw them a bone. Let them live in their fantasy world a little bit longer.
In conclusion: Fuck you Axe. I'm going with TAG.
*Probably not true.
Drinkability is Bullshit
I'm sure you've seen the ads by now. Bud Light has Drinkability not only that but this is what makes it better than other light beers.
Drinkability. This is supposed to be a selling point? Of course it has drinkability it's a liquid. All beers have drinkability. If it isn't a solid or a gas it probably can be drunk.
You know what doesn't have drinkability? Sand.
Does not go down smooth
Drinkability isn't even a word. Every time I type it my spell checker underlines it in red. Spell checker knows, Drinkability is a crock of shit.
And I like Bud Light. I know it tastes like water, that's part of the reason I like it. Until they invent alcoholic water I'll have to settle for Bud Light when I want to get more drunker with out that pesky taste of alcohol.
But you have to realize that drinkability is just a code word. What they are really selling is chugablility.
And they are right. Bud Light has great chugability. Exeptional Gulpability if you will, (will you?).
CBS Sitcoms
Today I'm going to look at the Sitcoms that are currently on CBS. This is going to be the last post in the Sitcom review series (at least for a while).
THE BIG BANG THEORY
Mondays 8:00
This show is about a couple of scientific prodigies who live together. They have a pair of predictably nerdy friends and a hot chick living across the hall that (surprise, surprise) one of them is in love with. I have seen this show a couple times and was not very impressed. It is about geniuses but it isn't particularly smart or clever. The humor never really rises above "Hey we are so weird and nerdy. Isn't this delightfully eccentric?"
It's not.
Verdict: Lame show. Skip it.
HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
Mondays 8:30
This show takes place in NYC and is about a group of friends. It has the chick from Buffy, the guy from Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and Doogie Howser. Most episodes deal with the main character, Ted Mosby telling his son and daughter how he met their mother, but that is really more of "the gimmick" of the show and they seem not to be focusing on it as much. Overall it is an amusing show and the core group is a good one.
Bonus: Britney Spears guest stars again tonight.
Verdict: Funny show. Check it out.
TWO AND A HALF MEN
Mondays 9:00
This show is about two bothers living together. Alan is the loser one (with a son Jake) and Charlie (played by Charlie Sheen) is the cool one who drinks all the time and sleeps with hot chicks. This show has been on since 2003 and it's starting to show its age. The show started with Jake as a cute little kid but now he is a teenager and the jokes centered around his innocence don't really work. It's still a funny show but I think that maybe they should just quit while they are ahead.
They Wont.
Verdict: Amusing show but getting kind of stale. If you've never seen it before stick to the reruns.
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
Mondays 9:30
This show is about couples. One that has been married for a while (with Putty from Seinfeld) and one has just gotten engaged. Both couples are also friends with a womanizing sneak played by David Spade. Personally I like Spade playing more of the nerdy loser type (Just Shoot Me) but he does a decent job in this series. The married couple is pretty funny and the woman in the engaged couple (Bianca Kajlich) is smoking hot. There are a few amusing moments and the characters are likable but it is nothing great.
Verdict: Kinda funny but nothing special. Pass.
I hate this commercial
HATE IT.
First, the idea that a group of guys would order pizza, get tired of waiting, stage a medieval battle and then blow up the delivery car when the pizza came because there was no domino's in medieval time is retarded. You ordered the fucking pizza! I thought the only reason you staged the battle was because you had 30 minutes to wait for the pizza.
But I can deal with that. Stupid commercials are par for the course these days. What really makes me hate this commercial is the delivery woman's dead behind the eyes stare when her car gets blown up. She shows absolutely no reaction, no emotion whatsoever. That just annoys me to no end. Who is this emotionally dead woman? Is that what working as a delivery driver for domino's does to you?
Also, they don't have any warning like "Professional stunt man, do not try" so if you wanna blow up the domino's delivery drivers car and then sue them if you get in trouble go ahead. What they do say is that "Because saftey is a priority, "You got 30 minutes" is not a guarantee but an estimate."
Fuck you dominos. Don't pretend like you give a shit about the safety of your drivers. you just got tired of people beliveing their pizza would be free if it took longer than half an hour. Domino's pizza sucks anyway, their cheese is all scabby and resembles someone with an outbreak of shingles.