Baseball used to be alot Cooler
To get you ready for the World Series starting tonight (although I'll probably be watching the Knicks Season Opener) comes this story from the NYTIMES. The Yankees have started a tradition of pieing a player in the face when they have a walk off homer at Yankee stadium. Posada describes it as such. "Boom him in the face." But not everyone thinks this tradition is the bee's knees:
Jim Bouton, the former major league pitcher and author of the 1970 tell-all book “Ball Four,” said there was a time when teammates would celebrate a hitter’s latest homer by sending a fake telegram saying the team had just released him.
He does not think much of the pie craze.
“In my day, they had more creative ways to sort of celebrate,” said Mr. Bouton, 70. “Pieing would have been silly, kids’ stuff. We would put a live snake in a guy’s underwear. That is something that real men would do. This is silly stuff, you know what I mean? It’s kid stuff. The guys today, they’re inexperienced.”
Would they put the snake in the players underwear when they were wearing it or what?
My house is soooo dirty…
"I clean up now?"
A man in Florida is accusing a maid he hired from the internet (craigslist I'm sure) to clean his house in the nude of stealing $40,000 worth of jewelry.
"Authorities said the woman arrived at the home in a one-piece, light colored dress. She took off the dress and cleaned the house for $100-per-hour. Sheriff's office spokeswoman Debbie Carter said the man told deputies he left the maid alone in the bedroom to clean.
When the man's wife came home from vacation, she discovered $40,000 in jewelry missing from their bedroom." (Source)
First of all, if you are going to pay someone a 100 dollars an hour to clean your house naked shouldn't you be watching her the whole time? Isn't that the point? I'm sure the average nude maid doesn't do as thorough a job as her clothed counterpart so the whole reason you would hire one is because you want to see a naked lady and maybe your house needs some minor tidying up.
Also I love that his wife was the one to discover the missing jewelry. I'm sure that was an awkward conversation.
Sit on the Toilet and Shut Up!
Gokhan Mutlu
Filed a 2 million dollar lawsuit against JetBlue Monday for "emotional and psychological trauma" After being forced to "hang out" in the bathroom for half of his cross country flight.
Excerpt:
" He was told the flight was full, but a stewardess told him that he could take her assigned seat and that she would sit in the "jump seat," said his lawyer, Zafer Akin.
Mutlu was issued a boarding pass and took Seat 2E, but got a rude awakening as he dozed off about 90 minutes into the red-eye flight, he claims.
The pilot called him to the front and "advised the plaintiff that he would have to give his seat up" to the flight attendant, the suit says.
The pilot told him the "flight attendant wanted to be more comfortable and that the 'jump seat' was not comfortable for her."
A stunned Mutlu asked whether that meant he was supposed to sit in the jump seat for the rest of the five-hour flight, but the pilot told him that would be against regulations, Akin said.
The pilot told him to "hang out" in the bathroom," the suit says, adding the stewardess took Mutlu's seat, "closed her eyes and pretended to sleep. "
So the stewardess tells him he can sit in her seat until she finds out the jump seat isn't all that comfortable and then makes the pilot get her seat back. What a bitch. I also like that she pretended to be asleep after getting her seat back. Shouldn't she have been working? The article says it was a cross country flight didn't she have pretzels to give out? Was she off-duty?
Also, I like that the pilot told him to "hang out" in the bathroom. How much "hanging out" can you really do in those small airplane bathrooms? And I thought they discouraged that sort or behavior.
Source: AIRLINE SAT ME ON CAN [NYPost]
This shit’s going straight to my head
I just read this article and had to comment on it. (Update: That article is gone, but I did find this article asking how a skull could be used as a bong.)
"Two men and a juvenile are accused of digging up a corpse, decapitating the body and using the head to smoke marijuana, according to court documents."
According to documents filed in the case, Gonzalez, Jones and an unnamed juvenile on March 15 went to an Humble cemetery, dug up a man's grave, left with the head and turned it into a "bong."
What the fuck? How stupid do you have to be to think that digging up a dead body, ripping its head off and smoking weed out of the skull is a good idea? I can see these dip shits now. "Oh man you know what would be fuckin amazing? If we made a pipe out of a human skull" "Oh shit that's be so sick" (high fives and slaps on backs all around)
I'm assuming they made it into a pipe (maybe using the eye socket as the bowl?) because I can't imagine what a human skull bong would look like. Maybe they just ducked taped that skull to their existing plastic bong?
Also they really should've been smoking crack out of that skull because if you are really that fucking stupid you might as well start smoking crack. What do you have to lose?
p.s. I like that the web address for that news site is Chron.com