Fuck You Axe
What happened Axe? Your commercials used to be fun. Complete bullshit and ridiculous, but fun nonetheless.
The basic message was: Spray on some Axe and roving packs of hot chicks will run after you and rape the shit out of you. Now there is a product I can get behind (Pun intended).
But now? Their message seems to be, you better use Axe if you ever want to have any chance of getting laid ever ever ever. In one commercial they give some male models silly hair styles and show them getting rejected by the ladies. Translation: if these stud muffins can't get to the ladyparts without Axe what chance do you have, you disgusting slob of a man?
Their slogan is "Get Girl Approved Hair" Fuck. You. How much of a pussy are you? Why not make sure everything you wear is girl approved? You can keep your balls in a girl approved wooden box (made exclusively by Axe).
See this guy above me? Yeah him. He has girl approved hair. And you know what else he has? A boyfriend.
I mean, I'm pretty sure that the main consumers of Axe are pimply virgin kids in high school* so come on Axe. Your consumers are self conscious as it is so throw them a bone. Let them live in their fantasy world a little bit longer.
In conclusion: Fuck you Axe. I'm going with TAG.
*Probably not true.
I hate this commercial
HATE IT.
First, the idea that a group of guys would order pizza, get tired of waiting, stage a medieval battle and then blow up the delivery car when the pizza came because there was no domino's in medieval time is retarded. You ordered the fucking pizza! I thought the only reason you staged the battle was because you had 30 minutes to wait for the pizza.
But I can deal with that. Stupid commercials are par for the course these days. What really makes me hate this commercial is the delivery woman's dead behind the eyes stare when her car gets blown up. She shows absolutely no reaction, no emotion whatsoever. That just annoys me to no end. Who is this emotionally dead woman? Is that what working as a delivery driver for domino's does to you?
Also, they don't have any warning like "Professional stunt man, do not try" so if you wanna blow up the domino's delivery drivers car and then sue them if you get in trouble go ahead. What they do say is that "Because saftey is a priority, "You got 30 minutes" is not a guarantee but an estimate."
Fuck you dominos. Don't pretend like you give a shit about the safety of your drivers. you just got tired of people beliveing their pizza would be free if it took longer than half an hour. Domino's pizza sucks anyway, their cheese is all scabby and resembles someone with an outbreak of shingles.