I'm a big fan of The Onion and sometimes come up with my own headlines. Now I've decided to share some of the least awful ones with you in a (possibly reoccurring) segment we're calling "Rejected Onion Headlines" Enjoy!
- Rapper Second Guesses Jewelry Room in Midst of Bankruptcy Filing
- China Busy Manufacturing Cute Kitten Pictures to Keep American Workforce Unproductive
- Study shows: 63% of Smartphone Users are Morons
- Man on Acid: "Rainbow Tastes Nothing Like Skittles"
- Man in Home Office Has Mixed Feelings About Masturbating at Work
- Rush Limbaugh's Life in Crisis After Wet Dream About Obama
- Convinced She is Good Luck Charm, A-rod Restricting Girlfriend Kate Hudson to Diet of Rabbit's Feet and Four Leaf Clovers
