Fuck You Axe
What happened Axe? Your commercials used to be fun. Complete bullshit and ridiculous, but fun nonetheless.
The basic message was: Spray on some Axe and roving packs of hot chicks will run after you and rape the shit out of you. Now there is a product I can get behind (Pun intended).
But now? Their message seems to be, you better use Axe if you ever want to have any chance of getting laid ever ever ever. In one commercial they give some male models silly hair styles and show them getting rejected by the ladies. Translation: if these stud muffins can't get to the ladyparts without Axe what chance do you have, you disgusting slob of a man?
Their slogan is "Get Girl Approved Hair" Fuck. You. How much of a pussy are you? Why not make sure everything you wear is girl approved? You can keep your balls in a girl approved wooden box (made exclusively by Axe).
See this guy above me? Yeah him. He has girl approved hair. And you know what else he has? A boyfriend.
I mean, I'm pretty sure that the main consumers of Axe are pimply virgin kids in high school* so come on Axe. Your consumers are self conscious as it is so throw them a bone. Let them live in their fantasy world a little bit longer.
In conclusion: Fuck you Axe. I'm going with TAG.
*Probably not true.