“BulletBall would be cool if it wasn’t so lame.”
I know it's old but I don't care.
This video is depressing. It is also hilarious.
Claim: Bulletball is a high-caliber table game designed for the 21st century lifestyle.
Fact: Bulletball is a table game. But, it is most definitely a game of a very low caliber. And designed for the 21st century lifestyle? It's a round table and some rubber balls. This game is designed for the caveman-century lifestyle.
I feel for this guy because he has obviously given so much for this silly game, but come on. He quit his job, sold all his possessions, lost his house, and is sleeping in his car. You know what Marc, maybe you shouldn't have quit your job. Was BulletBall really that time consuming? Couldn't this have been something you worked on after work and on the weekends? And 26 fucking years? Really? The game, table, rules, and all look like something that could have been created during a long weekend. I mean he sold his wife's wedding ring for Christ's sake! Does he still have a wife? Are they still married? Is she even still alive? Is she rotting in the trunk of his car, strangled to death after making one too many disparaging remarks about the table game that is uniquely catered to the 21st century lifestyle? Also, look closely at Marc's left hand (00:41 and 1:34) you can see that he is still wearing his wedding ring. Did this guy really make his wife sell her wedding ring and keep his own? What a jerk. I bet she lost it to him in a game of BulletBall.
But lets get to what I believe is Marc Griffin's true motivation for creating BulletBall - He believes he is really good at it. I think that's why he wants it to be an Olympic sport. That's why he won't give it up. He thinks that if he can turn BulletBall into an international sensation then he can dominate BulletBall, move out of his car, and finally get his life back on track. Did you see him playing the fat nerd? "My point!" "Mah Point!" He was kicking ass and he was loving it. I really believe that this maniac is pushing BulletBall so hard because it is the only thing he is good at.
Now of course BulletBall was rejected by the American Inventor judges and it looked like the next BulletBall might be fired from a high caliber shotgun into Mr. Griffin's face as his car/home idled in a Denny's parking lot, but thankfully that didn't happen. Marc continued his quest for Olympic glory. He decided to take BulletBall (and BulletBall Extreme) straight to the people by launching his own site.
He also made a video:
The best part about this video is that Marc put himself in the video in different clothes (read: disguises) at the :49 (wearing a backwards hat and sunglasses) and :53 (sitting down with a brown beanie) second marks. Now one possibility is that he couldn't find (read: hire) any other people for that part of the video but I think the real reason is that he is just crazy about BulletBall and can not stand to watch other people play and not be involved in the action. I can see Marc at family BulletBall gatherings refusing to get off the table even though he lost. Screaming, "It's my game! Mah game! I invented it! Who's next?"
Another great part is when he stresses that the BulletBall table can also be used as a multi purpose table (For homework!) At this point he is basically just a furniture salesman who likes to dress up.
So what are you waiting for? Help the guy out and Order yours today!* I mean it could be kinda fun. Plus his wife really wants her wedding ring back.
* Also: MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOUR SPEAKERS ON as there is a stunningly terrible/catchy rap song about BulletBall on the order page. Best line: "You lose tomorrow but you win today" A motto I am sure Marc Griffin has lived his life by.
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April 30th, 2008 - 09:03
lets play some bullet balllll
May 5th, 2008 - 09:39
This is the most depressing thing I have ever seen.
May 5th, 2008 - 09:59
I second Trevor’s comments.
Damn, when does it look like pouring your soul into something just isn’t going to work out. This guy needs some new ideas or a backup plan.
May 5th, 2008 - 10:42
About a month ago I left a comment on his website about how terrible the game was and how he should get his life back while he can. I left my phone number for the lulz. He called me and pretended to be Marc’s brother, “Charles Griffin”. Oddly enough, he had the exact same voice and manner of speech, and even reffered to bulletball as “mah game” a few times. That’s when I realized he was crazy. I also offered to sell him two games I had made up over the past ten years with my cousin. We called them speed-candle and speed-candle XTREME. He hung up on me.
May 5th, 2008 - 10:43
speed candle consists of blowing out a candle.
May 5th, 2008 - 10:49
The idea of the game is good, he just should have made it a videogame where you try to get a virtual ball behind the opponents line.
Oh wait… never mind.
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May 5th, 2008 - 10:51
This could be a novelty game if it had perhaps some paddles or something and if the table was bigger. It looks a lot like air hockey.
The man is not marketing the game well at all. I thought it was a comedy routine at first.
This man is relying too much on other people in his life, to accept what he thinks is great. He can love the game and play it often, but he doesn’t need to force it on others.
The name bulletball is unattractive right away. Nobody wants bullets coming at them. If he changed the name alone to something more attractive it’d be better.
The man in blue was a respectable fellow. Pointing out bad things about him is wrongful.
May 5th, 2008 - 11:02
After seeing this blog post he’s going to go home and kill himself. Oh wait…
May 5th, 2008 - 11:08
Where can I buy speed candle?
May 5th, 2008 - 11:31
I can’t wait to play it! :D hohoohhohohohohohoo
May 5th, 2008 - 11:44
well i loled at him
May 5th, 2008 - 11:47
I wonder how often people slam their elbow into the side of the table? Not fun.
May 5th, 2008 - 11:48
He just needs to make a deal with Sears and stop being the spokesman.
One suggestion to improve it: have the ball tied to the center by a thin bungie line. Then it won’t get lost like annoying ping pong balls.
May 5th, 2008 - 12:13
can someone explain why there is a rack of 12 balls?
May 5th, 2008 - 12:22
I think that Bulletball is kind of cool. It is a simple, easy to learn sport which reminds me a lot of table-top ice-hockey. To those of you who made fun of this guy I would say that his idea, simple though it may be, isn’t as odd as it may seem to you. I mean, he is taking a simple game we have all played some version of in out life and formalizing it as well as making it a little more exciting with the side rails. Don’t get me wrong, this game isnt going to be for everyone, but for those people looking for some casual low-cost fun, it certainly seems like an undemanding, easy to get into game that anyone can play. As far as it becoming an Olympic sport, I wish this guy luck, but I wonder if there is any chance of that ever happening. In any event, I hope he sells enough tables to get himself on the map business-wise and generate the funds required to build a happy life for himself.
May 5th, 2008 - 11:51
@claytonian
I like that idea. It looks like you would be running after and losing the “bulletballs” all the time
May 5th, 2008 - 14:01
It’s called bullet ball because it will end with a bullet. Sadly.
May 5th, 2008 - 14:10
Go here http://bulletballgames.com/order.html and listen to this dudes rap about bulletball. Bulletball bulletball bulletball thats a bulletball. It is actually him rapping too!
Thats a bulletball
May 5th, 2008 - 14:50
So it’s air hockey with your palm instead of a paddle? Did he actually invent anything besides the name?
May 5th, 2008 - 13:35
@ Kevin
I think because balls can get lost so easily and it might be a pain to keep picking them up after every point. Also, maybe standard bulletball games are to 12 points.
@Michael
I do agree that it might be kinda fun I just wonder how successful it could be considering it seems so simple to just create a table yourself. Also, the tables range from $80 – $525 so I do not know how low cost it is.
That said I also wish this guy success but not enough to make me shell out some cash for a table and set of balls.
May 5th, 2008 - 15:36
Wow. I mean…just…wow.
First off, about his wedding ring. He could be remarried? It WAS 26 freakin’ years ago that he and his ex-wife started the wonderful idea that would become Bulletball.
Secondly…wow. And I’m with JP. Would bruised and battered forearms be a sign of pride among the Bulletball warriors of the world? An Olympic sport? Is he really that delusional? We would see people with freakishly long arms dominating this sport. Just think, if your hand/forearm were long enough to cover your entire “goal” you would never get scored on…unless you sucked really bad…kind of like this game.
May 5th, 2008 - 16:49
Self-Confidence Vs. Self-Delusion
May 5th, 2008 - 16:59
I bet the different balls are different weights or sizes, so whoever serves gets to choose the ball that they play best with. I guess like how bowling has a huge rack of different balls.
May 5th, 2008 - 17:53
I think this man is delusional. There is something seriously different with his version of reality and everyone else’s version of reality.
May 5th, 2008 - 21:09
Anyone see the Bulletball Infomercial?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLz8puMoIE4
May 5th, 2008 - 21:11
Oh god, that would be so funny, if someone went ahead and marketed the the version with the tether string just to drive this poor guy crazy.
May 5th, 2008 - 23:16
LMAO!
May 6th, 2008 - 02:06
hey guys, i actually bought a bullet ball table, and the game is actually really fun. the game is not nearly as easy as it looks. the first time i played it, i played an experienced player, and i lost really badly. however, after a few weeks of practice, i got really good. i play bulletball everyday after school with my friends. dont make fun of this guy. he is a genius and will be rich way sooner than any of you.
May 6th, 2008 - 03:35
@FAN
HELLO MARC
HOW DID YOU GET INTERNET IN THE CAR?
May 6th, 2008 - 09:36
I’ve never found madness so depressing.
May 6th, 2008 - 11:58
it would be much more fun for spectators if the ball was really a hand grenade or a hedgehog.
May 6th, 2008 - 12:00
DOOD you stole my invention. I was sitting with MAH WIFE at a dinner and we used a creamer (little milk things for coffee) and we played so hard and so long.
You dont score a point for getting it past the goal, you score a point for getting the other person wet with milk and/or cream, then you stand up and pronounce MAH POINT
May 6th, 2008 - 15:08
MAH POINT
May 6th, 2008 - 23:16
I think I love you.
May 7th, 2008 - 00:00
I was really waiting for him to whip out an AK-47 at the end.
May 11th, 2008 - 18:00
How many bullet ball tables are there in the world?
May 11th, 2008 - 18:41
I wonder. I guess it depends if Marc makes them as he gets orders or if he has a warehouse full of them.
I’m gonna guess….2,500
or 23
June 17th, 2008 - 19:15
lol pong
July 8th, 2008 - 22:21
oh god this is so sad is fucking hilarious
i just sent him a comment on his website lmao its so pathetic I can barely breathe im laughing so hard
September 24th, 2008 - 12:09
Actually the idea is not so sad. We’ve been playing table top versions of field games for ages.
Unfortunately he’s missing his market. What he should be doing is marketing to campers/caravaners. I can’t seriously believe people will use it as a coffee table but it looks easy enough to pack away in the trailer for a camping trip. Good for keeping the kids quiet until the rain stops etc.
That said I’m not a camper so won’t be buying.
December 1st, 2008 - 03:16
I think we should curve all the lines in every field, court, arena and rink and then give the sports awesome names with ammunition at the front of them. The dream of bulletball will end with a bullet. But just imagine how much non-fail this guy could produce if he focused his 26-year long tenacity on something else. Anyone that can try at something for that long without giving up could produce real results if they were steered in the right direction instead of trying to push some bastard fail-son of pong and airhockey. Talk about a waste of a good man’s life. That’s why this video induces facepalms more than any other. He should persue one of his natural talents. I’m a jew and I’m in economics. Coincidence? No. This guy could go on to be possibly one of the best chicken farmers, watermelon farmers or bass players in the country.
December 12th, 2008 - 09:28
BulletBall is a high caliber table game. You cannot just simply play with any old rubber ball and a coffee table. My game has banks which adds a level of strategy never seen in any game to this day. Bullet Ball truly is the game of the 21st century. I am sorry that some of you are clearly upset that you did not think of this game, I hope when your children ask for a Bullet Ball table for Christmas you oblige, I do recommend that they begin with Bullet Ball and not go straight to Bullet Ball Extreme leave that for the pros who are making a nice living playing a high caliber table game.
Marc
December 16th, 2008 - 02:18
MARC!, why can i not place an order your website is fucked up man, bulletball for the future mother fuckers!
December 16th, 2008 - 07:35
To: TheRedBeard
I am very sorry, we are trying to increase our production to keep up with the demand, but unfortunately when we brought Bullet Ball and Bullet Extreme to potential manufactures in China not only were they excited to be a part of a High Caliber Table Game for the 21 century they also fell in love with the game. We are hoping that Bullet Ball and Bullet Ball Extreme replace ping pong in China.
You win today, but you lose tomorrow.
January 7th, 2009 - 19:01
Most of the people insulting it probably haven’t played. It’s actually pretty fun.
(No, I’m not Marc Grffin)
January 9th, 2009 - 07:33
He could make the table out of plastic, which would bring down costs. Tying the ball down is also a good idea.
Many good ideas have been put down.
January 11th, 2009 - 02:58
It actually does look kind of fun. I’d have to try it before I comment on it though. Maybe it’ll come to my shores someday.
January 14th, 2009 - 08:22
I remember when my wife and I first played Bullet Ball on our coffee table, it got us so worked up we made love for hours in a pool of our own sweat.
Now that’s a Bullet Ball
February 11th, 2009 - 21:47
Bullet Bull is a great game! Buy all the tables!
February 12th, 2009 - 13:04
We’re sleepin in MAH CAR.