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“BulletBall would be cool if it wasn’t so lame.”

I know it's old but I don't care.

This video is depressing. It is also hilarious.

Claim: Bulletball is a high-caliber table game designed for the 21st century lifestyle.

Fact: Bulletball is a table game. But, it is most definitely a game of a very low caliber. And designed for the 21st century lifestyle? It's a round table and some rubber balls. This game is designed for the caveman-century lifestyle.

I feel for this guy because he has obviously given so much for this silly game, but come on. He quit his job, sold all his possessions, lost his house, and is sleeping in his car. You know what Marc, maybe you shouldn't have quit your job. Was BulletBall really that time consuming? Couldn't this have been something you worked on after work and on the weekends? And 26 fucking years? Really? The game, table, rules, and all look like something that could have been created during a long weekend. I mean he sold his wife's wedding ring for Christ's sake! Does he still have a wife? Are they still married? Is she even still alive? Is she rotting in the trunk of his car, strangled to death after making one too many disparaging remarks about the table game that is uniquely catered to the 21st century lifestyle? Also, look closely at Marc's left hand (00:41 and 1:34) you can see that he is still wearing his wedding ring. Did this guy really make his wife sell her wedding ring and keep his own? What a jerk. I bet she lost it to him in a game of BulletBall.

But lets get to what I believe is Marc Griffin's true motivation for creating BulletBall - He believes he is really good at it. I think that's why he wants it to be an Olympic sport. That's why he won't give it up. He thinks that if he can turn BulletBall into an international sensation then he can dominate BulletBall, move out of his car, and finally get his life back on track. Did you see him playing the fat nerd? "My point!" "Mah Point!" He was kicking ass and he was loving it. I really believe that this maniac is pushing BulletBall so hard because it is the only thing he is good at.

Now of course BulletBall was rejected by the American Inventor judges and it looked like the next BulletBall might be fired from a high caliber shotgun into Mr. Griffin's face as his car/home idled in a Denny's parking lot, but thankfully that didn't happen. Marc continued his quest for Olympic glory. He decided to take BulletBall (and BulletBall Extreme) straight to the people by launching his own site.

He also made a video:

The best part about this video is that Marc put himself in the video in different clothes (read: disguises) at the :49 (wearing a backwards hat and sunglasses) and :53 (sitting down with a brown beanie) second marks. Now one possibility is that he couldn't find (read: hire) any other people for that part of the video but I think the real reason is that he is just crazy about BulletBall and can not stand to watch other people play and not be involved in the action. I can see Marc at family BulletBall gatherings refusing to get off the table even though he lost. Screaming, "It's my game! Mah game! I invented it! Who's next?"

Another great part is when he stresses that the BulletBall table can also be used as a multi purpose table (For homework!) At this point he is basically just a furniture salesman who likes to dress up.

So what are you waiting for? Help the guy out and Order yours today!* I mean it could be kinda fun. Plus his wife really wants her wedding ring back.

* Also: MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOUR SPEAKERS ON as there is a stunningly terrible/catchy rap song about BulletBall on the order page. Best line: "You lose tomorrow but you win today" A motto I am sure Marc Griffin has lived his life by.